The Sea Tiger
A Love Story
Once upon a time, there was a tiger. But he wasn’t just a tiger…
He was a sea tiger. A SALT-water sea tiger that is.
The natural habitat of the sea tiger is anywhere on this map that is blue.
The sea tiger is a particularly strong swimmer due to his webbed-paws. A lover once mocked the sea tiger upon discovery of his webbed paws…
He pimp-slapped her ass and, although she was caucasian, swore revenge on all minorities.
Natural Enemy: Sea-lions
Natural Enemy: Key Deer
Natural Enemy: China-men
…and Aids.
Not THAT type of Aids:
This type of aides!
The sea tiger had worse things to fear though, as it was captured and on display in the horrible Key West Aquarium.
All day, everyday, the sea tiger had to listen to the cocks……and deal with the drunks on elephants micturating in his pen.
One day, a band of fine young men from New York looked out from their balcony in the John Maine suite and saw the sea tiger.
Gosh that sea tiger looks sad, but what can we do?
When Jimmy Mojito, over-hearing this, said;
"What would Adam Levin do, you bunch of pussies? Bust out that fuckin tiger!"
The young men busted the sea tiger out,
Taught it to talk like Christian Bale, and dressed it up as “Batman” for Fantasy Fest.
When the boys woke Sunday morning, the sea tiger was gone. They like to imagine he’s somewhere…
fucking with dolphins, or
getting a little pussy, or
mauling minorities, or even
wrestling a bear and a unicorn butt-naked on the streets…
until our next adventure…
THE END
Preservation Society
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Become a sworn protector of the Salt-water Sea Tiger.